Saturday, June 16, 2012

Where Have I Been??!!

LONG time no blog! I'm so sorry I've been away for so long. But there is a long story behind it (which will be after the cut, for those of you that are curious) and I just needed a little break.
Now that things are starting to settle back down, I feel like I'll actually be able to start blogging and making videos on a regular basis again :)
I do want to say thank you to everybody who's been subscribed and following me for a while, as I've gotten to 3000 subscribers on my channel! It's a huge feat for me and I appreciate every single person who takes the time to watch and enjoy my videos. I also got to 170 followers here, which is again, huge for me! I really do like having this as a creative and personal outlet and I couldn't ask for a nicer bunch of people. Quality over quantity - and you guys totally prove it. <3
I have a travel makeup video coming up soon, as well as a haul since Bath and Body Works is having their semi-annual sale, and I needed to pick up some things from Sephora.
After that, I think I'm going to finally start doing tutorials again as well as start a new little makeup-vlog (vlog related to makeup) series which is inspired by Temptalia and some posts she does.
So, thanks for sticking around guys and I promise more content in the coming weeks! Happy summer to everybody, stay safe, sunscreened, and hydrated!
PS, I hate that the LA Kings won the Stanley Cup this year.

For anybody that is actually going to read this, thanks and it'll be long and slightly emotional.

Currently I'm going to (technically) be a junior in college come this fall.
Basically, after a year at UC Santa Cruz, I came home and my father had been diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon-Rectal Cancer. Since I was only a year into college, and my brother was about to start his senior year, I decided to move home and stay at my local community college because realistically speaking, my parents wouldn't be able to send both of us to school as well as everything that comes with having somebody in your family with cancer, financially. UC Santa Cruz also didn't have the major I wanted to pursue, so it was a really logical decision for me to come home. I don't regret it one bit, and my first year of college was amazing. I made lifetime friends, I loved the school and the area, and really it wasn't an easy decision to make at all, but I had to do it.
I started community college that fall knowing that I'd basically here on out have to depend on myself financially, which wouldn't be difficult because I would also be able to work a lot of hours at the place I had been employed all through high school and leading up to UCSC and that community college is a much less expensive way to get an education. I could also commute from home saving rent money etc. I finished my final semester there this past May and got into SF State and will be transferring there in September.
Originally the plan was to be there for two years and transfer, but things obviously never work out that way. My first semester there I sort of just... took random classes which helped but didn't exactly push me in the right direction to transfer. This was around the time I started my channel and blog and got into this crazy beauty world :) I also started working two other jobs at the time, mostly to stay busy, but also to get a good solid financial base for when I transfer so I could take as few loans out as possible.
About a year and a half after my father was diagnosed, his health took a turn for the worse, and basically the entire Spring Semester last year was spent not at school and at home doing whatever I could to help my mother and him, again, losing another good chunk of time that I could have used to get out of that school faster. He passed away last May.
That following September I finally got the go-ahead from counselors to start applying to schools and this whole school year was spent waiting on schools and seeing where I would go. I also basically had to do well and finish all those classes because I was really done with community college and ready to go. I got accepted into SF State and am very happy to be attending there in the fall :)
Work-wise, since January we'd been going through a lot of changes, and everything sort of felt up in the air but things are back to being normal.
In this past year, it was also again made clear that I'd be getting little to no help from my mother financially for school, so again, I ended up working a lot more and having less time for personal things. Which leads us to this past month and a half of getting transferring things done, getting done with finals, getting SF State stuff set up, working 40 hours a week now that I'm on summer and... not buying things, not putting on makeup, and not filming anything.
Also the year "anniversary" (which I hate using that term but really there's no other word for it) of my father's passing was much harder than I had anticipated it to be, so I took a personal break from everything for that reason as well. It was almost harder than last May because I really just focused on keeping myself busy last year and I think this year is when it really hit me emotionally. I'm also not really an emotional person at core so anything feelings-y is sort of... new to me lol.
Then last week we had family friends come in from Japan, so my filming room got converted to a guest bedroom, and then we went to Napa.

And this all happened while I basically let in some super crazy people into my personal life, and it was a hard but necessary lesson to learn about people and personalities and trust. I've severed ties with a few people that I shouldn't have even gotten involved with in the first place in this past 18 months.

So, since the majority of personal things (people visiting and school stuff and work) are starting to settle, I have time to concentrate on other things.
Tomorrow my best girl-friend is graduating from UCSC (we went to high school together) and I couldn't be more excited or happy for her.
I'll probably have a video up on Monday and then write up some blog posts while it's uploading.

I know I'm not the only person that's ever been through these circumstances, which in the perspective of the entire world, is really nothing compared to what a lot of people go through. And if anybody has been through something similar, or is currently going through something similar, my heart goes out to you.
I miss my father everyday, and it hurts everyday to know that probably the person I looked up to the most isn't going to be there for every major even in my life from here on out. But life carries on and there's always something good to look forward to during the day.

Hopefully I'll get back into the full swing of things soon since, again, I've finally been able to get completely organized and settle back into a regular schedule.

Thank you, all of you, for being subscribed and following and again, it means the world to me that you are all such wonderful people. Here's to good things ahead ♥

3 comments:

  1. Sorry to hear about your father yukie, I hope you are feeling better. It's never easy to lose someone you love.

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  2. I know how difficult it can be to juggle school when there is so much more going on with family and life. I'm sorry to hear about your father and everything you've been through lately, but I'm glad you're back. <3

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  3. I'm so sorry about your father passing. But you can really tell that with everything happening around you, school, family, and health, you have mantained your spirits high I'm glad your back to the blogging world, hope everything falls into place!

    XOXO,
    Diane Cristi

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